I know this is ridiculous, but can you relate the concept of having an unshakable feeling- something so deep to your core that nothing, no logic, no argument breaks it?
Probably a stupid question to ask.
I have a feeling so firm, so set, that I actually question my own sanity over it. All convention would say this is irrational, but I have a feeling that is so strong, so loud it is deafening. It is drowning all arguments, breaking all logic. It’s a torrent.
And yes, it sounds like my riddled brain, but this time this is a real feeling. It is like the crashing of water, an undertow of current that I can’t fight.
I’ve never experienced something this poignant.
I envy that you at least knew your direction- your compass rose pointed clearly.
I am getting pulled down a path I don’t feel prepared for, but I can’t decipher anymore than that.
I have no compass rose, nor a map. I just know- it is. And nothing more.
It is. Nothing I do, or say, or try, will change ‘it‘.
What the fuck is ‘it‘? I keep asking and I just get the same reply.
It is.
Normally I would just ask my Mom if I was going mad. If anything just to hear a ‘no’. But now I can only look at a picture and ask.
I don’t like things I can’t understand or make sense of. I don’t like unpredictability.
And I dont know why the fuck it wont let me go to sleep- it just keep drilling at me.
And I dont know why the fuck I am sharing it. Misery loves company? And that bullshit? Fuck if I know.
/*Burn after reading, please, spare me the pain of reading this later, aka: delete it*/