I have a cat, a lovely creature who came home with me from Europe. She even has her own passport! I love this creature for so many reasons, but I am also grateful to her for being the thing that triggered my alarm bell that something was very wrong.
Back in the day, I was living in Eastern Europe. I ended up getting married there. It was the wrong thing to do, in the wrong place, and with the wrong man. It was an abusive and cruel situation but I was blinded to most of it.
I was trapped in my own mind and in a country I didn’t speak the language. It was not a good situation for me. I never should have allowed myself to get into this, but there I was, stuck and trying to figure out what to do.
I wont bash on my ex-husband. I don’t like doing that to anyone. You can make your own opinions, but I hold no grudge or anger. Life is life, and this part is behind me.
BUt the cat, well she chose me.
We were walking home at night and I noticed people throwing food at a trash can. It was odd to see, especially in a country where people were poor, so throwing food was unheard of.
Out of this trash can popped a tiny kitten. So small and yet determined. I stopped and looked. This tiny cat ran in between the kids and people throwing food at it, and stopped in front of me.
Looking at me with big eyes, this tiny creature dug her nails into my jeans and climbed up on me! She literally was using me as a tree.
It was adorable, and clearly she chose me.
I scooped her up, being so tiny she fit in my cupped hands, I put her inside my hoodie and zippered her up. Holding her close she snuggled against me and just slept as I walked the rest of the way home with a cat in my jacket.
This was the start of a lovely little affair. This kitten soon became my best friend in a country and marriage that was hostile and cruel. The little creature was something I could care for and loved me back in return.
In Eastern Europe the attitude is animals are utilitarian and essentially soul-less. So what we westerners would see as cruelty was normal in the east.
My husband at the time was not finding my treatment of the cat to be acceptable.
One particularly brutal night he was mad at the cat. I remember him taking her and throwing her against the wall so hard she slumped down to the floor.
I was horrified. I laid on the floor with the cat, cuddling her, keeping her safe hoping she wasn’t dead. She did recover but not without consequences.
I knew then it was time to leave. It wasn’t safe for me, or for her.
I immediately started researching the procedure to bring her back to the US. I got vaccines, papers, and started the six month countdown before I would get out of the country.
I started making plans.
As with all things in my life, when times are tough, a door opens. This time it was a job offer. An excellent offer if I could come back to the US.
My ex-husband did not like this idea. His entire goal was to use me to get into the US. Unbeknownst to me, he had his own ulterior motives and it was later I learned he planned to take all my money and assets and leave me legally responsible once he got into the United States.
Letting me go back to the US alone would cause a disruption to his master plan. But the money was exceptionally attractive.
He wanted to make sure I would send funds back home. Make sure he was getting the soils of my work. I lied my ass off and agreed to all of it. All I cared about was getting back home, whatever the cost.
Finally getting my freedom I packed up the cat and got the hell out.
Returning home, the poor kitten thrived but still has medical issues to this day. My beloved cat has gone through seizures, and many internal organ issues. But I refuse to give up on her. The vet has told me many times, there is nothing more we can do…. Yet love and good care has kept her alive and thriving for more years than I ever expected.
She is not only my best friend and companion, but I owe her so much more. She was the creature that made me wake up and realize everything was going wrong. She made me understand it was time to leave….now.
When I got home I struggled emotionally for a long time. Trying to figure out what to do. Eventually this led to a long international divorce. My guilt over this felt endless. I even continued to pay for my ex’s education since he had no ‘income’ from me.
I realize how pathetic that was now.
I don’t beat myself up over it, but I do resent the fact that my poor decision and weakness led to me being a divorcee.
There is no shame in being divorced, lots of people are.
But it makes me feel like I take marriage and relationships flippantly. That is anything but true.
I hold my commitments and loyalty in the highest regard. To have that besmirched is a point of shame to me.
But regardless, the cat and I are very happy, living our best lives now.